Saturday, February 25, 2006

Unusual Habit of the Monkey on the Avocado Tree.

Unusual Habit of the Monkey on the Avocado Tree.

Before I begin I have to confess that the heading has nothing to do with the text to follow. I just put it because I liked it. You can generate and put your own heading to it. What I would like to share with you is, the results of my successful experiments, which I have been secretly carrying out in the underground bunkers, long abandoned by Hiter and later occupied and abandoned by a maniac, who used to love pulling his nose hair. One thing I can assure you is after reading the results of the experiment you will definitely feel better and more cheerful.The Experiment was specially designed by me and is actually a series of 3 experiments.The first one was called "Nosled" and is actually my name spelt backwards. It consists of Mixing one part of Plutonium laced nitric acid, with one cup of tea (and once I even mixed coffee, by mistake.) and boiling it with Picric acid. The second one called "Sixela" is my second name spelt in reverse. Consists of brewing a hippopotamus soup, using sunlight, a spoon of salt and amalgamated Cyanide. The third one is nameless and consists of placing some froth of cappuccino coffee, over a slice of ham and trying to guess, weather the cappuccino froth tastes like ham or the ham tastes like cappuccino froth. These experiments were conducted in strictly controlled environment and gave the following impressive results.
1. At least 5 people in this world love you so much they would die for you.
2. At least 15 people in this world love you in some way. (The result was actually 15.4 here. Since there cant be 0.4 person, and since I like whole numbers , this is a approximate on the lower side)
3. The only reason anyone would ever hate you is because they want to be just like you. (This came from the hippopotamus experiment)
4. A smile from you can bring happiness to anyone, even if they don't like you.
5. Every night, someone thinks about you before they go to sleep. (The value of this is directly proportional to the number of dogs you own)
6. You mean the world to someone.
7. If not for you, someone may not be living.
8. You are special and unique.9. Someone that you don't even know exists, loves you.
10. When you make the biggest mistake ever, something good comes from it. (This was proved when I accidentally used coffee instead of tea in the Nosled experiment.
11. When you think the world has turned its back on you, take a look: you most likely turned your back on the world.
12. When you think you have no chance of getting what you want, you probably won't get it, but if you believe in yourself, probably, sooner or later, you will get it.(This was proved when I was awaiting for the plutonium to make the plutonium laced nitric acid.)
13. Always remember the compliments you received. Forget about the rude remarks.14. Always tell someone how you feel about them; you will feel much better when they know.
15. If you have a great friend, take the time to let them know that they are great. A Minute they say it takes to find a special person, an hour to appreciate them, a day to love them, but then an entire life to forget them.

Disclaimer: They say 79% of the statistics are false (which itself is a statistic). The above figures are 100% true, since they are not statistics, but results of a experiment conducted under ISO 14000 standards.(Ok pal… now I guess that the experiment is done, time to do the paper work)

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